The Under Bits
by Luck Laden Lefty
Summary: In which Jubei finds out Rachel's overbearing superciliousness will override any and all shame.


Rachel sat atop a grassy knoll, gazing out into the starry night sky with an even look about her. A familiar black and white cat wearing an eye patch and an orange coat crested the hill, stopping next to the vampire girl. There was a moment of pregnant silence before Rachel took the initiative to speak.

"Ah, the great One Eyed Lotus deigns to be in the presence of a vile creature such as myself."

The cat known as Jubei grouses at her comment before stopping on the hill next to her. "Gregarious as always Rachel…"

"I trust that the hapless lieutenant found her way with your guidance?"

"More or less," the feline responds curtly, his gravely voice giving the ever-present illusion of displeasure.

Silence reigned again as the two figures watched the stars shine and flash, as if each was attempting to outdo the one before it. Jubei heaved a sigh as he turned to Rachel, expression slightly troubled.

You think we did the right thing Rachel?" He asks, "bein' all cryptic with the kids and such."

Rachel tosses a lock of her luminous yellow hair out of her face before speaking, eyes still trained on the starry night sky.

"Why of course One Eyed Lotus." She finally breaks eye contact with the sky, turning to grin sardonically at his newfound scowl. "Did you really think they would've gotten anywhere if we handed them answers on a sliver platter? Honestly Jubei I think you overestimate those lowly, pathetic life forms sometimes."

"Hey, they ain't all bad." The eye-patched cat interjects.

"If you say so," the Vampire girl retorts casually, the cat shooting her a trying glare with his good eye.

"What's got your panties in a bunch anyway? What'd the humans ever do to you?"

"First of all," Rachel starts evenly, flicking an errant hair back into the cascading sea of gold before continuing. "I'm not even wearing panties."

The cat sweat drops.

"Second." Humans are disgusting, vile creatures that pollute the environment, spread disease, and spend all their free time inventing disgusting and abhorrent ways to kill one another; they deserve nothing less than complete and total eradication.

"Spoken like a true misanthrope." The cat grumbles under his breath.

"Oh, don't act so haughty Jubei, we both know you loathe humanity just as much as I do."

"If you hate humanity as much as you say you do then why'd you go outta your way to save one?:"

Rachel pauses, her mask of impassiveness never faltering. "I simply did what was best for the planet as a whole. The child's survival was detrimental to the longevity of the planet so I did what I had to.

"So now humans are vital? You sure ain't makin' any sense Rachel."

"I did not say all humans were acceptable life forms did I?"

"Seems a little too holistic for the hard-edged Rachel Alucard if ya ask me. The feline's face morphs into a toothy grin. "Maybe you're sweet on him."

The girl lets a smirk slither onto her features as well "Quite possibly…."

The cat rails at the girl's uncharacteristic statement. The girl notices this, her face harboring indignation "Well; Mr. One Eyed Lotus." Rachel scoffs, turning her head away. "Maybe I'm not as transparent as you believe me to be."

A grunt followed the girl's statement, making the grin on her face stretch wider. "Or maybe I simply want to coerce him into a false state of affection so that I may later rip out his heart and stomp it into a soft pulpy mess." The feline found himself at a loss for words, but Rachel reveled in her guests being uncomfortable and decided on a whim to toy with the feline for a while.

"Yes I do believe that your pupil would be entirely at my mercy least I decided to have my way with him."

"Well he ain't the sharpest knife in the drawer at times…"

"But surely the one who trained him must possess an even greater mental fortitude." Jubei eyed her warily, not indulging her combative nature directly. Instead he takes a wary step toward her question.

"Just what are you getting at Rachel?"

"I was merely saying that the oh-so vaunted One-Eyed-Lotus must be quite the sagacious individual."

"Didn't I tell you to quit callin' me that?"

"My apologies Mr. hero."

"Sides' I ain't nothin' to call and tell home about."

"But surely one must be exceptionally keen in order to train the savior of the planet."

"Jeez Rachel, you make it sound like rocket science."

"Well, I should hope you treat it with tantamount importance."

"I'd say I do a pretty good job." The vampire girl doesn't respond verbally to this, instead she lets out a curt noise that almost sounds as though she doesn't quite believe what she'd just been told, but accepts it with a slightly pompous acquiescence; the feline's unnaturally sharp senses pick up on this however, and he seems slightly irked.

"You're not doubting my teaching skills are ya?

"What reason would I have to doubt someone who so positively reeks of infamy?" The girl's response may have seemed ostensibly genuine, but to someone who'd known her as long as Jubei had, he could practically smell the wryness seeping from her every word.

"And surely one as vaunted as yourself would have a student of equal caliber." An image of his spiky haired student flashed through Jubei's mind. He could see his red-coated apprentice as though he were looking at him through his own eyes.

_What're you lookin at you creepy ol' geezer?_ The image spat, and was dismissed forthwith, but a frown followed closely in its stead. The girl's voice returns him to consciousness however, as he hears her address him.

"However, if you are here because you require a break in tedium I suppose we could test your fortitude and see exactly how resilient you really are. This would merely be for sport mind you. As difficult as it may be to believe, I do not actually enjoy stepping on people's toes.

"Could've fooled me," he grumbles. Her radiating aura of blithe allows her to brush off his comment with not a change in her expression what-so-ever. In truth, the feline seems surprised and slightly intrigued at the prospect Rachel had introduced. Though he wasn't entirely sure why he was letting her lure him in so easily, but he figured it was his curiosity more than anything.

"I'll bite though, what're we gonna do?"

"You are merely to do as instructed for as long as possible without conceding."

"That don't sound very fun…" His mild amusement is quickly felled by her explanation. But her stubborn nature won't allow her to let him dismiss her game that easily

"Well then I believe we know where you stand." She keeps one eye trained on him as she speaks, hoping that her blatant condescending was getting to him. He notices her staring at him, but pretends not to notice as he turns away slightly, keeping his temper level.

"But I guess it couldn't hurt," he fronts, determined to prove her wrong. However, even he doesn't believe the statement once it's left his lips, but he pushes the uncertainty back down into the pit of his stomach and waits for her to make her move.

"Excellent," her response sounds slightly more enthusiastic than usual, but not so much as to give herself away. She places her palm to her chin in thought, Jubei watches silently as she ponders. She makes no indication that she's finished other than removing her palm from her chin, the feline still standing idly nearby.

"Please remove your coat before we start, you shan't be needing it." He offers her a guarded stare, but he senses no malcontent coming from the girl so he reluctantly plays along. Pulling his coat up over his head, he neatly folds the garment before placing it under a nearby tree.

"Perfect," the girl's stare is now uncharacteristically lustrous, which almost makes the feline abandon the entire escapade right then and there. But he holds onto his nerve and waits for her to make the next move.

"I require you take on a quadruped position." The response is surprisingly sober, given the look on her face.

"Say what now?"

"All fours One Eyed Lotus," her condescending tone makes him scowl, but he obeys regardless and drops to all fours.

"Perfect," there is definitely a noticeable change in her tone this time. It carries with it the same lustrous air her facial expression had moment prior, a thing thought not to be possible at all for the stately and prudent Rachel Alucard. She saunters over to him, eyes locked solely onto his, and without breaking eye contact at all, she slides herself down on top of him, her body now lying flush with his.

The girl slides over the prone form beneath her, her hands slinking over the small of his back all the way up to rest squarely on his shoulders. With a hand on each shoulder blade, she applies a liberal pressure, forcing both his arms straight. After she does this she backs off to admire her handiwork. The feline has both his arms spread out in front of him, his rear in the air, and an irritated look on his face-Rachel couldn't have been more pleased-although she probably didn't look it. Then suddenly the cat feels one of the hands that had been used to pin him traverse its way back down his back to his hindquarters; the other moving to rest in between his shoulder blades.

The surprisingly pleasurable feeling of a hand stroking one of his tails wends its way up his spine, making his body tingle and his next breath come out in a shudder. "It seems we have a-"there is a momentary lapse in her sentence as she maneuvers her index finger toward the base of the feline's tail, stroking upward toward the tip and making its owner shiver hard; "-problem."

Jubei knelt there, wondering exactly what she meant by "problem," until the finger stroking his tail made its way back down, causing another shameless shiver to traverse his spinal cord.

"My tails?" he asks, craning his neck incredulously. "What are you gonna do with my tails?"

The girl grasps one of his tails rather firmly in her fist. "Nothing, they are simply in the way."

"In the way?" he asks, turning to look at his tail clasped in her hand. He receives but a nod from the demure girl, and with her hand's gentle upward tug, he gets her message and ever so slowly he raises both his tails up over his prone form, revealing the girl's target.

"Nago, get over here." She says with beguiling evenness, but it still makes the jet-black feline jump none-the-less.

Nago and Gii both liked to privy to whatever the princess was planning, but when her authoritative voice suddenly rang out across the valley and interrupted their conversation, they both exchanged bemused looks before Nago gets up and begins to make his way toward her. He fumbles awkwardly to this princess' side, narrowly avoiding running into her before setting himself down to wait for her to address him.

"Nago," she starts with the same eerie evenness in her voice. "I believe our friend here could use some assistance."

"Rachel, what're you-" The prone cat asks.

The other cat shifts his gaze from his master's chilling placidity to the other feline to their right. He notices the other feline has his tails raised, back end in the air, and a positively irked expression souring his features; but he tries not to stare as he turns back to his princess bemused.

"Princess I don't understand what-"

The princess heaves an annoyed sigh as she rather roughly takes the back of the feline's head in her grasp. "Must I do everything?" At this, she pushes the black cat's head forward into the backside of her captor, causing bot feline's sentences to be effectively cut short with cries of surprise. The princess' personal servant, now with his nose pressed firmly against the pink bud of flesh, hears the princess address him with the same nonchalant air as always.

"I'd advise you to put that tongue of yours to good use for once Nago. After you let that bearded brute have his way with me you have no room to complain" She cajoles him, her hand still firmly cemented to the back of his head. At first he vehemently refuses her request, attempting to pry his head free of her iron grip. But the second she feels any sort of resistance, her grip tightens to an almost painful level and the cat realizes he has little say in the matter. His tongue hesitantly pokes out of his mouth, he screws his eyes shut as he feels his sensitive feline tongue come in contact with the equally sensitive flesh of the other being.

A violent shiver runs the length of the other's body as the pleasure pervades his every pore. His back arches and he begins to pant, fruitless struggles all born from attempting to keep himself composed. Although composure was a luxury he didn't have at that moment because the feelings now slithering through every part of his form made his body come alive, birthing sensations he never in a million years would have thought were possible. He felt nearly weightless in the wake of this newfound sensation, the sand-paper like tongue the other feline was brandishing was only serving to exacerbate the situation. The recursive lapping at his backside only seemed deepen the pleasure until the only thing he was able to feel was a constant burning pleasure erupting from his core, working its way into every crevice and outer extremity until it occupied every nerve ending there was to inhabit; essentially taking him over.

The one being forced to give the treatment wasn't enjoying himself nearly as much, having his eyes screwed shut for an entirely different reason. To think that the princess was making him do something so abhorrent and degrading he wanted to turn on her right then and there. But he'd promised a life of servitude to the Alucard family and he intended to carry out his promise, no matter how asinine or outlandish a request he was given. So he continued to lap at the other male's backside, acquiescing to the whims of his master.

Rachel looked on with blithesome amusement. She swore she would see to punishing Nago and Gii for their complete lack of volition when it came to the protection of their charge. And she could think of no better way to do so then to utilize her naturally domineering personality. So once she sees that her "captor" is adequately aroused, only then does she feel it's an appropriate time to put an end to their ass to mouth vignette.

"That's enough Nago." She says, nonchalant as ever. And just like that, Nago's head left the rump of the other feline, a thin trail of drool stretching from his maw to the other's rear. After wiping away the excess saliva with the back of his paw, his cheeks red as fire and his pride all but desecrated, he surreptitiously begins to slink away out of his master's and the other feline's vision. Unfortunately for him, Rachel's omnipotence is nothing to scoff at and no sooner had his feet started moving than he'd heard her bone-chilling voice call out his name, effectively stopping him in his tracks.

"Where exactly do you think you're going?" She questions, the anger in her eyes betraying her stoicism. Antiquated in appearance and personality, her subjects knew that a stern glare meant far more than slight annoyance; that is why when Nago saw her shooting him a look that could only be defined as ambiguous coming from anyone else, he high-tailed it back to her side faster than even she could comprehend. Rachel regards her minion's submissiveness with an admonishing look before turning to the white cat sprawled out on the ground before her.

"You simply cannot be done already One Eyed Lotus," she mocks in her usually supercilious tone. "We've only just begun and you're already panting like an overworked mule.

"What exactly was the point of that Rachel?" He pants, thankful that his isn't facing her, least she notice the blazing red tint of his cheeks.

"Point of what?" She asks casually.

"Don't toy with me Rachel," the feline snarls, earning him another disinterested retort from the girl.

"What ever do you mean? You did agree to the terms of our little game did you not? Besides, I can see that you've been enjoying yourself." The smirk that dances its way across her features makes the feline aware that he is painfully erect. Upon noticing this, he does his best to cover himself, but by then it was already too late.

"Calm yourself One Eyed Lotus; I've witnessed far too many horrors for the sight of mere genitals to rattle me." Despite her hollow reassurances, the feline covers himself as best he can, only adding to Rachel's amusement.

"Well despite your obvious displeasure with our agreement Mr. Hero, you did give your word. I would hate to see you go back on your word after being so sure of yourself."

He could only offer an accosted glare as she'd hit the nail on the head. He had indeed agreed to play her game and he was not about to concede to the girl and admit she was right, even if this was one of the most embarrassing things he'd ever been forced to endure.

"Well, if you're still willing to cooperate I'd like for you to take on a supine position." His response is as jaded and confused as the first time, so she simply asks him to turn over. He begrudgingly obliges her sitting on the ground with his hands over his crotch.

"Flat on your back," she reminds him curtly; he grumbles something intelligible under his breath and goes to lying face up on his back. She saunters to his side again, her expression a mask. She sits herself on her knees beside him; he lets out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding as one of her pale white hands comes to rest on his stomach. He watches the hand perched on his stomach with rapt attention, but even with his unusually keen senses, he fails to take stock of the situation and before he could process what was happening, he feels a light pressure at his backside.

"Oh no, no way in hell," The feline quickly scrambles to a sitting position, getting as far away from the vampire girl as possible. The girl smirks at the admittedly apropos reaction, wiggling the offending finger at him.

"The great One Eyed Lotus afraid of a mere finger?" The cat glares at her, the light pink of the blush that tainted his cheeks making him look more embarrassed than offended.

"You're perverted!" he shoots back, absentmindedly curling his tails around his lower regions, hoping to shield himself from prying eyes.

"Are you giving up?" She asks, looking terribly smug, which in turn only causes him to want to show her up even more. Unfortunately for him, he gets no time to adequately think it over, Rachel being impatient as she is. As soon as he starts to weigh his options he notices her face hovering unsettlingly close to his own.

"Well, do you concede?" He looks down in thought, her stare boring holes into him all the while. He couldn't give up just like that, he was the revered One-Eyed-Lotus for Christ's sake, to let his resolute form and stately stature waive in the presence of one mere being was unacceptable in his mind, no matter how intimidating that sole being may be. The nod that follows his session of navel gazing is meek and unsure, but it's a green light either way in Rachel's mind. So with an ambiguous tenderness, her hand finds its way to his chest, pushing him with enough force so that he is once again on his back.

The girl wastes no time in resuming where she left off, the index finger of her other hand prodding lightly at his backside. He braces himself for the impending invasion, sucking in a breath. The girl takes a one final cursory glance at his face and notices that his eyes are screwed shut; her smirk flickering for a brief moment she begins to push her way inside.

The vampire girl could do little to keep her grin from morphing into a smile as she spread the sensitive ring of muscle with her finger, causing the cat's teeth to clamp together tightly and his muscles to tense in retaliation. The girl nearly stretches the limits of her face's capabilities as its lips experience's a breadth they hadn't achieved for as long as she could remember. The gentle tugging at the corners of her mouth felt almost alien to her; her mouth turning up into an almost genuine smile that deflated a second later once she realized it was there. Keeping herself composed, the girl wastes no time in resuming her invasive prodding, renewing the movement of her finger much to the feline's chagrin. Finally; pushing past the vice like grip of the virgin backside, she embeds her finger to the knuckle, craning it upward and rubbing it against the feline's sweet spot.

The feline's eyes continue to stay shut; his teeth gnashing together in an attempt to keep his dignity intact. Waves of pleasure pervade the feline's every pore as the girl massages his prostate with an expert touch. The beguiling deftness of the girl's hands is in clear bloom as she makes the feline write and convulse in paroxysms of pure, unabated pleasure, making the grinding of his teeth increase to an almost painful level, but no sound escapes.

Watching the feline jerk and spasm as he literally melted in her thrall was one thing, but what positively irked her was the fact that he adamantly refused to cede to her and tell her he wanted more. A hackneyed half smile graces her lips once more as she realizes that to get what she wants; she'd have to resort to more drastic measures.

"My, that looks as though it feels rather good. But you seem to be quite the taciturn creature; it seems I will have to escalate my efforts. "Nago," she addresses her cohort who had been watching the spectacle in front of him in horror. "I once again require your assistance." Upon hearing her address him, her familiar tries his very hardest to meld into the earth, shying away from her touch as if she were poison. The girl grows tired of his reticence however and opts to simply grab him by the back of the head again and ferry his face toward the crotch of the other cat. No words need be exchanged as Nago stares at the throbbing, blood-red appendage in direct contact with his nose. He gives a backward glance at his master, whose face is cold and expectant. The grip on the back of his head intensifies and he knows what she expects of him. Choking down the feelings of disgust and shame as best he can, he opens his mouth and allows the throbbing organ to slip past his teeth into the warmth of his maw.

The being he is servicing grinds out an expletive as his shaft is engulfed in the warmth of the other feline's mouth. The combination of the feline's dexterous tongue and the liberal suction from his maw effectively tore through the whole of the victim's resistance, leaving him disoriented and out of breath, but for Rachel, simply panting wasn't enough. She took the liberty of once again grabbing the back of Nago's head again, not only serving to keep him from skimping on the suction but also so that she could use him as a conductor to send tantalizing bolts of raw red electricity shooting through his head directly into the crotch of her victim. The feline growls as his member is further stimulated, his limbs tensing to the point of pain.

"My; my, someone's eager." The girl's composure strains as she watches him writhe, finding it increasing more difficult to keep that persistent smirk off of her countenance. "Seems like you're ready for the main event; I would brace myself if I were you."

The feline is all but oblivious to her caveat as a murder of sanguine electricity begins to pop and spark to life along the length of her arm. The hazardous spark of the energy is almost inaudible as it quietly fizzles and cracks, now ensconcing the entirety of her arm in a jolting red sleeve of electricity. The girl watches with sadistic satisfaction as the sheaf of energy begins to slowly wend its way down her arm and into the backside of the already severely addled feline. But although the collection of electricity looked dangerous, The girl's exemplary control over the blood red energy funneled it in such a way that it was not a lethal shock; only enough to make your hair stand on end, which was enough to stimulate the feline's sensitive backside.

Her captor's grip on his dignity is lost as the blood-red energy comes in contact with his prostate. His hips lurch completely off of the patch of earth in which they were previously quivering, hilting his shaft inside of the other cat's mouth and making him gag slightly. The self-imposed moratorium on his speech is effectively shattered; his toes curl, and a vociferous moan escapes the confines of his throat. His once firm hold on the earth below him becomes a crushing iron grip; a feeble attempt to anchor his writhing body to the ground.

There was little to no shame left in the feline's exclamations as he tried but ultimately failed to keep the outpouring of moans at bay. His body felt gelatinous. Not one of his limbs seemed to want to cooperate, and instead, twitched and spasmed every which way in an ictus of freely flailing limbs. The oh-so-perfect pleasure of the finger implanted in his backside coupled with the other male servicing him was enough to finally break his hard-pressed silence.

Ecstasy? Rapture? Euphoria?

None of these seemed like accurate descriptions of what he was currently feeling. There was nothing comparable to the feelings that assaulted him at this very moment because the feelings overflowing from his body right now superseded all those before loudest of the countless exclamations by far slithers out of the feline's throat as his entire body begins to convulse yet again. His eyes roll completely to the back of his head, his mouth hanging open in paralyzed tableau. His grasp on reality is momentarily lost as the most powerful orgasm he'd ever experience in his life overtakes him. The only thing he can see is a cloying sea of blinding white light as the saccharin pleasure seeps from his every pore.

The pulsations currently radiating from his two occupied erogenous zones are undoubtedly some of the strongest he'd ever experienced. Just when one of the supremely powerful waves of pleasure seemed to dissipate; another, even more powerful one would follow in its stead, rocking his body to the core.

The one pulling his strings smiles a morbidly amused smile as she watches the feline flail helplessly below her; the epithet of an enraptured soul. She makes sure he feels the full force of the pleasure, continuing to stimulate his prostate white her cohort continues his vehement suckling, trying desperately to contain every drop of the essence spurting from the tip because he knows if he doesn't Rachel will be cross with him. Without warning the pressure on the back of his head becomes more insistent, pushing the pulsating organ further and further into his mouth.

"You had better not swallow that Nago," she warns with a sharp glare. He begins to try and extract the throbbing appendage from his maw, when she rather roughly pushes him back down. "Did I say you were done?" Nago gives a simpering whine as the salty substance floods his maw. Unable to alleviate his taste buds of the unpleasant liquid he can do nothing but hold the bitter essence in his mouth until Rachel instructs him otherwise.

Rachel looked down at the panting form of her victim as she slowly withdrew her finger, reveling in the pitiful moan that slithered its way out of his throat as her finger brushed his prostate upon its exit.

"How uncouth of you Nago, going down on our dear friend in that manner, you look positively boorish" The girl chastises her subordinate, her facetiousness only adding insult to injury. "Get off of him before you strike a nerve." Nago's head snapped up off of the other's crotch so fast it impressed even Rachel. However the look of utter disgust still decorated his facial features, the bead of milky white fluid dripping down his chin accenting the scene. He gave his Master and the sole being who could free his mouth from the torture a pathetically pleading look, to which she merely rolled her eyes.

"Swallow Nago, you look utterly foolish." The feline swallowed so fast and greedily that it looked he was actually enjoying it. An uneasy look spreads across the cat's face once he's cleared his maw of the pungent liquid. He makes a few valiant efforts to assuage his railing taste buds, licking up dirt and grass as he does so.

"How repulsive," the girl comments, turning her attention back to the nearly catatonic feline.

"It seems that was a bit much hmm?" She notes as she notices how harshly he was breathing. Deeming it better to leave him as he was then pester him any longer, she turns to walk away.

"Come Nago," she says surprisingly calmly for her.

"Princess…" her cohort whines. "That was intolerable." The girl turns to her familiar, scoffing as her fingers comb through her flowing yellow locks.

"Well then you should not have allowed that scruffy ruffian to make an absolute mess of my beautiful coiffure." She retorts, growing tired of her familiar's back-talk. She simply uses her vast knowledge of Ars Magus to link her familiar to her with a ethereal looking leash and drags him along as she goes, causing him to gag and flail as he is dragged along.

She gets to the top of the hill Gii had been watching the abhorrent spectacle from, giving him a cold glare as she passed his floating body.

"Don't think I'd forgotten about you." She glowered, prompting Gii to go stock still in the air for a moment and almost lose altitude.

"It seems I'll have to punish you later." She remarks, waving her hand as a black void spill across the expanse of her vision.

"Come along then Gii," She says as she steps into the inky blackness dragging Nago's gagging form behind her. Gii, blanches for a moment before begrudgingly following his princess through the void, whimpering slightly as it closes behind them. Jubei is left lying in the clearing, covered in his own bodily secretions. He'd barely registered his two assailants leave his presence, effectively ending their raunchy tryst. But as he lie there contemplating what exactly had just happened, he pictured the eldritch nature of her grin and theorized that he would never understand the method to her madness; but he wasn't sure he fully wanted to.

**This sucks I never want to look at this document again**


End file.
